Talksheet: The Breakfast Club

©1985, written by John Hughes

Note to leaders: This movie is rated R. Please be sure you provide parents ample time to sign a permission form. There is some foul language, awkward conversation and drug references. The movie is 1 hour and 37 minutes. Since it is an older movie, it is slower by today’s standards. You may want to post questions for teens to think about during the movie to try to help them stay engaged. Movie synopsis according to Wikipedia.

Before you begin the movie, ask students:

  • What are the different cliques at school?
  • Would you consider these cliques stereotypes?
  • Are you, personally, defined by your friends?

Questions to consider during the movie:

  • Pay attention to how each character is developed. How do they arrive at detention? Why are they in detention? What about their clothing styles? What are they wearing? Where do they sit? How do they speak? What do they eat? What about their behavior towards one another? How does that behavior change?
  • By the end, do you think they’ve become “friends?” What happens throughout the film that helps them bond with one another?
  • How are adults, teachers, principals and parents, depicted?

Discussion Questions

  • Beginning quote from “Changes” by David Bowie (written in 1971):

“And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds

are immune to your consultations, they’re quite aware of what they’re going through.”

  • What does this mean?
  • Do you think adults forget what it is like being a teenager? How so?
  • Why do they forget so quickly?

Main characters:

Claire (Molly Ringwald) – the princess

Andy (Emilio Estevez) – the athlete

Bender (Judd Nelson) – the criminal

Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) – the brain

Allison (Ally Sheedy) – the basket case 

  • How are the characters established in the beginning?
  • How are they similar/different from students in your school?
  • Do you think the stereotypes used in The Breakfast Club are relevant today? 
  • If these characters were in your school, what people groups would they be a part of?
  • We see immediately that they are not all (except for Claire and Andy) friends. Do you think where they sit is significant?

The essay they are asked to write is “Who do you think you are?”

  • Is that an easy question for a teen like you to answer? Why/why not?
  • Changing the intonation of your voice while asking that question can change the meaning. How do you think Assistant Principal Vernon meant it?

We learn early on about Bender’s homelife and eventually everyone shares. What about their stories stood out to you?

  • Is this realistic today?
  • How much of an impact do parents, teachers, youth leaders, coaches, have on your life?
  • Do you think how we treat one another is a reflection of how things are at home?
  • How can realizing this help us understand one another?

The Breakfast Club is rated R (17+), mostly due to inappropriate or foul language and one scene involving drugs.

  • What was your reaction to the language?
  • Did it bother you? How so/not so?
  • Why do you think the producers decided to allow foul language to be a part of the movie, knowing that most teens would not be able to watch it due to its R rating? What about the drug use in the movie? Is that an issue at your school?

Andy says, “We are all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it.” Then they all share their weird talents.

  • Do you think they would have been willing to break down their walls in this scene if Allison had said this? Why or why not?
  • Do you believe that we are all bizarre?
  • Why do we hide this part of us?
  • Where do you NOT hide your bizarre side?

One of the breaking points is when the group discusses the pressure in their lives.

  • What were their individual pressures they experienced?
  • Do you think everyone feels pressure? How so?
  • How do you personally deal with the pressure in your life? (anxiety, stress, etc.)
  • How does it help knowing that your peers struggle, too?
  • How can you help your friends and classmates when they are overcome with pressure (home life, academic, athletic, etc.)

What do you think happened Monday morning? Did they remain friends?

Do you think they would have ever interacted in any other circumstance?

How would this story play out today?

Lastly, What are some themes in the movie? Make a list. Discuss. Do you think these themes are relevant today? How so?

If we added a Christian student to the Breakfast Club, how would they interact? How would the story play out? What if one of the characters was a minority?

God created us each in His image (Genesis 1:27). How are you a reflection of God’s image?

  • How do you see the princess, the athlete, the brain, the criminal or the basket case as a reflection of God?
  • Read Psalm 82:6 & 1 John 3:1. How might our actions towards people shift if we started looking at others as Children of God, created in His loving image?

Famous Quotes to Discuss

  • “I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.” -Claire
  • “You ought to spend a little more trying to do something with yourself and a little less trying to impress people.” Mr. Vernon
  • “I could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.” -Bender
  • “My god, are we gonna be like our parents?” -Andy
  • “If you get along with your parents, you’re a liar.” -Bender
  • “Kids haven’t changed, you have.” -Carl, the janitor (speaking to Mr. Vernon)
  • “When you grow up, your heart dies.” -Allison
  • “Screws fall out all the time. The world’s an imperfect place.” -Bender
  • “We’re all bizarre. Some of us are better at hiding it, that’s all.” -Andy
  • “Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice the whole Saturday in detention for whatever we did wrong. But we think you are crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest of terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete and a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely, The Breakfast Club.”

Final Challenge/Activity:

  • Have students think about how they would answer the question, “Who do you think you are?” Come back together next week and have them creatively express their answers. You may have them write an essay, a poem, paint or do a collage. Have them share with one another.

TikTok Challenges: Being In The Know

During the pandemic, young people were stuck in their homes, unable to go to school or socialize face to face with friends. However, they did find a place to “gather” that gave them a common bond. Tik Tok, a video-sharing app owned by a Chinese company launched worldwide in 2018 according to Wikipedia. It existed a couple years before the pandemic shutdown; however, Tik Tok launched into a frenzy of popularity, especially for those of us outside of Gen Z, after March 2020. In fact, if you ask a young person, they can reminisce about all the trends that happened each month of the pandemic. One of those trends since so many families were spending all day together, all ages began working together to create dance moves and other content for the app. Celebrities got in on the fun as well. Even though we were stuck at home without new movie releases or live concerts, we did get a peek into the lives of stars like Justin and Hailey Bieber and JLo through their personal Tik Tok accounts. There are a number of people who rose to Tik Tok fame in the last two years. Here are a few with the number of followers, in millions: Charli D’Amelio (126.8), Khabane Lame (117.2), Addison Rae (85.2), Bella Poarch (83.8), Zach King (66). For a comparison of stars: Justin Bieber (22.9), JLo (14.1), Will Smith (63.4). (Please note these numbers were at the time of publishing this, they go up by the thousands daily.)

Why should we, adults who live and work with young people, care about TikTok? We barely have time to be on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat, why add another app? We need to be aware of the “world” where our young people are spending their time. While we do not have to live there with them, and be careful because TikTok can be a bit of a rabbit hole this is difficult to get out of, we do need to be aware of what they are watching and to whom they are giving their time.

By now, you hopefully have heard about the Devious Licks challenges that were going around in schools this fall. If not, Google it and take a look. It started as vandalizing bathrooms, and next was supposed to move to slapping teachers, video recording these and posting them on social media. Schools came down hard on offenders and hopefully, have put and end to the trend. A positive trend that start in response was Angelic Yields where students began putting items such as lotions, soaps and even a coffee pot into the bathrooms as their schools to oppose the vandalism trend.

A word of advice as well. TikTok, like other social media, uses an algorithm and will show you videos that match your habits. So, for instance I see videos about cooking, crafts, devotions and general soccer mom stuff. So, you will need to have a conversation with and possibly sit down next to your young person to watch their TikTok in order to be in their world. You may think that they will not want to share or will shy away from you being in their business, but the opposite is quite true. Many times, you will surprise them with your interest in their lives. Just watch and ask questions, do not criticize. If you view something you do not like or disagree with, ask the young person their thoughts or opinions and then respond with your feelings using “I” statements.

Take a listen to this podcast where a pastor, youth leader and I talk about all of this and respond to this growing social media application.

Living in Groundhogs Day

As October comes to an end, and we contemplate ministry this fall/winter, we are still faced with the difficulties of living during this pandemic in a very devasive political climate. For many church leaders, especially youth leaders, not much has changed in twelve months except the number of children and teens who are suffering from this virus. So, where does that leave us? How do we navigate a ministry when so many factors are in play?

While being out talking with youth leaders, many are struggling with similar roadblocks. Here are just a few:

  • It is difficult to know who is even a part of the youth group.
  • Volunteers are gone or those around do not want to give of their time anymore
  • Feeling weary and tired. Being creative and finding new ways to reach teens is exhausting
  • There has not been a break in 18 months
  • Do we meet face to face? Outside or inside? Wear masks or not? Social distance at youth group?
  • What does the future look like for youth ministry?

Here is one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give right now. Through all of these questions, exhaustion and uneasiness. Keep the main thing the main thing. Work on relationships. Reach out to teens, their parents and volunteers. Do not worry about how many are showing up for face to face events at the church, keep track of how many interactions (text, social media, phone calls, cards and conversations in the community) you have in a week. Use your time to reach out to them and even meet them where they are (if policies and health permits). Do not keep the expectations we had prior to March of 2020 that our “youth group” happens at the church. It is time we move away from the old model for ministry and start to shape what discipleship with young people will look like post-pandemic.

We address some of these questions in this podcast. But I will continue to address these complications in this blog as we move forward into 2022. Please subscribe and check back.

The History of Black History Month

I do not remember. being a white student in a predominately white small town in Ohio, ever celebrating Black History Month. February was a time to recognize President’s Day when I was growing up. We did not learn much at all about African Americans who had contributed to the history of our country. However, the idea of dedicating a month to celebrating African Americans has been long in the making.

In 1915 historian and author Dr. Carter G. Woodson founded the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. Dr. Woodson initiated the first Negro History Week in February 1926. He picked this week because it included the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Dougalss, two key figures in the history of African Americans.

President Ford, in 1975, issued a message on the Observance of Black History Week urging all Americans to “recognize the important contribution made to our nation’s life and culture by black citizens.” Then in 1976 the commemoration of black history in the United States was expanded by the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History to the whole month and President Ford issued the first message on the observance of Black History Month.

1986 saw the passage of Public Law 99-244 by Congress which designated February 1986 as “National Black (Afro-American) History Month.” This law noted that February 1, 1986 would “Mark the beginning of the sixtieth annual public and private salute to Black History.” The law further directed the President to issue a proclamation calling on the people of the United States to observe February 1986 as Black History Month with the appropriate ceremonies and activities. President Regan issued Presidential Proclamation 5443 which proclaimed that “the foremost purpose of Black History Month is to make all Americans aware of this struggle for freedom and equal opportunity.” This proclamation stated further that this month was a time “to celebrate the many achievements of African Americans in every field, from science and the arts to politics and religion.”

The 1619 Project was launched in August of 2019, on the 400th year anniversary of slavery in the United States. This initiative, started by The New York Times Magazine, aims to reframe our country’s history by “putting the consequences of slavery and the contributions of Black Americans at the very center of our national narrative. You can find the link to this project here:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html

Why do we need to celebrate Black History Month? This is a question we wrestle with in the podcast. We reference a Morgan Freeman interview on 60 Minutes from 11 years ago. Here is a link to that interview:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=morgan+freeman+on+black+history+month+full+interview

In response to this question and Freeman’s conversation, is this quote from Dr. Lonnie G. Bunch III, the Director of Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of African American History and Culture:

“I would suggest that you can tell a great deal about a people, a country by what it deems important
enough to remember, what they built monuments to celebrate, what graces a country’s museums or
what holidays they embrace. Yet I would argue that we learn even more about a country by what it
chooses to forget, what it cloaks in silence. Nowhere is this silence more deafening then when countries
are confronted with the issue of slavery and the slave trade.”

So, the need for Black History Month exists still because we still do not have a true representation in our history books of slavery in our country and all the contributions made by African Americans in this country.

Take a listen to the podcast as we discuss this and much more. Please give us a like, follow and share and leave us your comments.

https://www.spreaker.com/show/practically-honest-with-kaye-wolfinger

Post-Truth

As we turn the calendar to February, and celebrate Black History Month, we start with this podcast about Post-Truth. What is it? It is this time we are living where “alternative facts” have replaced scientific facts and feelings have more weight than these facts.

Post-truth is an ideology where people try to compel others to believe something without regards to the facts or evidence. Some believe this era that we are living started 20 years ago when people didn’t believe facts about smoking, vaccines, or climate change. Couple this with the use of the internet and now social media, and the conditions are perfect for post-truth.

What do you believe? Who do you believe? Where do you find your truth? What shapes you? What do you believe as “truth”? Is it politics? Science? Theology? All questions we should be asking ourselves and the young people around us.

This could make a great discussion for a small group or your friends. Let us know your thoughts and your conclusions.

Dictionary definition of Post Truth https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/post-truth

National Geographic article referenced in podcast: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2015/03/science-doubters-climate-change-vaccinations-gmos

Barna study referred to in podcast:

/https://www.barna.com/research/six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church/

Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/practically-honest-with-kaye-wolfinger/id1434070440?uo=4

Calling for Unity

***Disclaimer…I do not intend for this post to be politically charged or meant to support any political biases***

Given the recent madness and violence in our country, I do not believe that it is ironic that this is the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity and that the Inauguration falls in the same week. As I have watched in horror the videos of everything that happened in Washington DC on January 6th, and all the social media rampage in the aftermath, I couldn’t help but wonder how our political afflictions gained priority over our Christian call.

I realize that because of our faith convictions, we tend to support one political party or candidate over another; however, how in the world, brothers and sisters, have we got to this place in our country? The amount of hate spewed at one another at one another on social media is appalling. We have allowed those platforms to be a place of hate for our fellow Christians for the whole world to see. How is this being a witness for Christ?

As we also celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King today, and his message of unity, be inspired by this quote from him. “We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of love into the veins of our civilization.” While he was addressing the importance of unity between races and ethnicities, I suggest that we also use his words to motivate us to seek Christian Unity no matter where our differences lay.

Let’s focus on some scripture to pull us back together. After all, we are on the same team and need to work TOGETHER to further the kingdom of God because we have been called by God, no matter your gender, race, ethnicity, or political affiliation, we are ALL CALLED. If you lead, live or work with teens or young adults, you can use this as a time of devotion with them or allow it to be a conversation starter. They are watching and learning from the adults around them, may we be a positive example for this generation.

John 15:16-17: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2015%3A16&version=NIV says that God chose us, we don’t choose Him, He picks us to go and bear fruit that lasts. Meaning, when we spread love, peace, kindness, gentleness, (Fruits of the Spirit: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205%3A22-23&version=NIV) they last.

  • What are some ways we can do this? Especially now we we can not always be with people physically?
  • What are some ways to handle a situation with someone when we don’t agree with them?
  • What are some ways that God has called you to spread “fruit”?
  • How has politics and faith intersected in your life? Has your faith shaped your political views?
  • This week is Christian Unity Week, how can we become a part of unifying Christians? Is it too big of a chasm for us to do anything about repairing?
  • Since this is MLK Day, what do you know about his work that helped to unify people/Christians?

Prayer: (Modified for young people from the link below)

God of love, Jesus told us that you did not chose me, but I chose you. You pursue us, and invite us into a friendship with you. Show is how we can deepen this friendship with you so that our lives may be more complete.

God of live, you call us to be light in this world of darkness and to welcome those around us as gifts of your grace. May your loving gaze, which rests on every single person, open our eyes to loving one another just as we are.

God who gather, you weave us together as one vine in your son Jesus. May your loving Spirit move in us, no matter where we are or who is with us. Grant that we can come together in joy to praise your name.

God of one vineyard, call us to act in your love in all we do and say.

Touched by your goodness, grant us the ability to be the reflection of that love in our homes, schools, work places, and on social media. Use us to pave the way for bridging rivalries and overcoming tensions in our world.

Spend some time in silent prayer. Allow God’s grace to fill you as you rest in Him.

Reference: https://www.oikoumene.org/sites/default/files/Document/ENG%202021%20Booklet.pdf

Navigating a pandemic

Parenting is a tough job, no doubt. We typically rely on our own experiences as children, good, bad or indifferent, to shape us as parents. The same is probably true of youth leaders and teachers. But what happens when you are in a situation you, yourself, have never experienced?  These last six months have found us all reeling. We are all trying our best to get through the situation, and if you have young people in your life, you also have the weight of guiding them. So, we brought in an expert to help us all. Missy Jones is a mental health therapist who works with children/teens and is also a mom. She gives some excellent advice to navigate this pandemic with our young people.

Resisting Racism: What do you say?

This is the third podcast/blog post in our series on racism.  Pastor Sheena Cameron and China Williams join Tim Beck and Kaye talk about their experiences as African American females. We talk about white privilege, kneeling during the national anthem and how we, as white Christians, can show our support and compassion.

Some interesting notes to go along with this podcast:

  • China mentions when talking about kneeling during the National Anthem, other verses that we no long sing for obvious reasons. You can find those verses here
  • Pastor Sheena talks about how Colin Kaepernick, who was raised by white adoptive parents.  More information about his family can be found here.
  • Pastor Sheena discusses the meaning of taking a knee. Here is some more info. on what it means in the military. Here is an article about the psychology of “taking a knee.” Colin’s idea to take a knee originated from retired Army Green Beret, Nate Boyer. You can find his interview on NPR here.
  • Dr. Martin Luther King quote about riots can be found in it’s context here.

What can we do to support? Make donations, write letters, have conversations and listen. Don’t stress out your black friend right now! Watch what you say around your dinner table.  What are you doing to better educate yourself and the young people in your life? What things are you learning? Please share with us!

Podcast:

Practically_Honest_Resisting_Racism_Part_3 (1)

<a href=”http://Image by John Hain from Pixabay“>Picture Credit

Resisting Racism

What do the facts say? This podcast addresses the facts that are shown through the history of our country. We (white, black and mixed race) walk through the information openly and honestly, sharing our experiences and thoughts learning from one another.

Some questions to ask ourselves and others we lead.

  • What do you know about the history of racism in our country?
  • What are some examples of racism you have witnessed or experienced?
  • Can you explain or have you encountered systemic racism?
  • How do you feel about the inequality of housing for non-white folks?
  • What does Black Lives Matter mean to you? To others?

Other questions to guide conversation:

  • Who have you talked to/shared this information with?
  • How have you steeped out of your “comfort zone” to hear from/learn from the affected demographic?
  • What have you read or learned to increase your knowledge of the subject? What does the Bible say?
  • How have you invested (time and money) in addressing this issue/topic?
  • Have your identified policy (in the UMC and in government) that needs to change and considered the impact and history?
  • What do you need to repent of?

Links:

Redlining

http://www.aclrc.com/forms-of-racism

Nationalization Act of 1790

Timeline of the Civil Rights Movement

Civil Rights Act of 1964

13th (film) on Netflix

National Museum of African American History and Culture

National Civil Rights Museum

HIP Cuyahoga

For more information on the history racism or any other multi-culture questions, contact Will Jones, Director of Multicultural Vitality

Podcast:

 Practically_Honest_Resisting_Racism_Part_2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

<a href=”http://Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay“>Picture Credit

We’re All In This Together

Hello! It has been a while since I have just written a blog without a podcast. I will have our weekly devotional/Bible study out tomorrow. But for today, I thought I would just sit and write for a minute, and be honest…and maybe not so practical?!

This sucks. (There is no better way to say it, and if my mother was alive, she would probably allow me to say that, even though at 16, she’d correct me.) But it does! It is tough for everyone right now, but being a parent is especially rough. You are being asked to home school, while trying to work from home. There are those who may not even be working right now because your place of business is shut down, or you are worried about losing your job. Maybe you are part of the population who can’t work from home, still have a job, but no childcare. As parents, we are all anxious. We are living through a situation for which we are not prepared. The closest thing to this in my memory is 911, but even that is different. Then we did go out, we did gather to support each other, we just didn’t fly…for only four days! Our churches saw a huge surge of people gathering for worship, and we made it through…together.

But here we are, sitting in our homes, or going to work, then straight home. No church, no school, no concerts, no games, no practice…even no toilet paper! I want to remind you we are still in this together. Stay calm, especially for our children

I am a mom of an 18 year old who is a senior in high school and a Marine who just turned 21. It has impacted us. We are consoling our senior who is grieving the thoughts of the possibility no graduation or prom, and also the last weeks of school with all of her classmates and beloved teachers. And supporting our Marine from afar who is stuck at his current base, as his schooling is over, and he unable to travel to his Permanent Duty Station.

But, I keep reminding them, and I will remind all of you. Find the blessings. Look for the good. We get to sit down as a family every night and have dinner TOGETHER. My husband isn’t gone, traveling for work. We can watch movies, play games, do whatever we want because no one is running out the door to practice or a meeting. We are right here, TOGETHER. What a blessing!

And on the days you can’t find a blessing…be one! I just saw a friend post that her son is out of the country on military deployment, and while he is very safe, his is worried for his young family who is quarantined on base. So, this friend asked for people to send letters. I’ve also seen suggestions to send letters, or have children draw pictures to send to those in nursing homes. Do it! Maybe you can show support to the first responders in your community. Or just simply pick up the phone and make a phone call to someone who lives alone. Praise God this is happening at a time where FaceTime exists! How wonderful to see faces of loved ones that we can not visit right now.

Where are you struggling? Where are your blessings? Keep your chin up friends, we are all in this TOGETHER…and if you have kids my age (and maybe younger) these lyrics may be in your head now and are so fitting:

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right

We’re all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We’re all stars
And we see that
We’re all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true

Peace my friends! Stay healthy and calm.

***Image taken from Pinterest of Disney’s High School Musical